1. |
President
03:20
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My fellow Americans
The American people
I just wanted to begin by mentioning that
Tonight, I want the people of this country
The American people
Regular, hard-working Americans
To get together
And shoot me
Donald Trump
Is dead
I’m getting absolutely killed
Dead
That means it’s all over
Dead
By the way, I can give them all the ammunition
To shoot me
Dead
Get out and kill me
I want to express our Nation’s deepest condolences and most heartfelt sympathies to the family of Mr. Trump
Donald Trump
Dead
I love dying
Frankly, I want to get shot and die
I’m okay with it, it’s okay with me
We’ll assassinate the president
Take over the government
We’ll assassinate the president
Take over the government
We’ll assassinate the president
Take over the government
(Dead)
We’ll assassinate the president
Take over the government
(Kill Kill)
We’ll assassinate the president
Take over the government
(I’m gonna kill the motherfucker)
We’ll assassinate the president
(Hopefully very quickly)
Take over the government
We’ll assassinate the president
(I’m gonna shoot the president)
Take over the government
(you’ll shoot your president)
(Ahhh ha ha ha ha ha)
We’ll assassinate the president
Take over the government
(It’s gonna rain blood)
We have to get the best people
We need to get the best and the finest angry mob
To chop off my head
Ch-ch-chop of my head
My head
My head
And the finest angry mobs of peace loving citizens in our poorest communities
To drown me in The Great Lakes
I want to be drown out by an angry mob
As far as I’m concerned waterboarding is absolutely fine but we should go much further
Tonight, I want to get savagely beaten
And left dying on the streets
Dead
I want to be hit in the face with bricks
America needs Anarchy
We’ll assassinate the president
Take over the government
We’ll assassinate the president
Take over the government
We’ll assassinate the president
Take over the government
(They’re going to kill him)
We’ll assassinate the president
Take over the government
(I want feel horrible, horrible pain)
We’ll assassinate the president
Take over the government
(There will be bloodshed, there will be death)
We’ll assassinate the president
Take over the government
(prepare to die)
(I love dying)
We’ll assassinate the president
(I want a twisted monster to open fire and murder me)
Take over the government
We’ll assassinate the president
Take over the government
(hey, wouldn’t it be cool if I killed the president?)
I will be the greatest dead president that God ever created
The greatest rapist president
The greatest child molester president that God ever created
I want to get the brutal death that I deserve
Lunge that knife into the stomach of your president
We’ll assassinate the president
Take over the government
(they are coming after me with weapons of mass destruction to destroy my life)
We’ll assassinate the president
Take over the government
(these barbaric slaughters are a welcome assault upon our president)
(Kill that president)
We’ll assassinate the president
Take over the government
(what have you got to lose?)
(Kill Kill)
We’ll assassinate the president
Take over the government
(I am a victim of a very violent, bloody, brutal death)
We’ll assassinate the president
(I’m Donald Trump and I approve this message: Kill Me)
Take over the government
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2. |
Pandemic
04:06
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Don’t forget to wear your masks, the clock is ticking
This is a quarantine until further notice
Oh man, I feel like death
I’m not going to get better, I’m dying
You’re dying? You’re lying!
It’s like a medical emergency
Jim, I just got it
Got what?
I just got Hong Kong Sneeze
I love The Hong Kong Sneeze and I hear it’s making a comeback
It sure is!
Wrong
The Dreaded Hong Kong Sneeze
Hello Mavis, you got it too?
Something must be going around
The nation was caught in a grip of a new epidemic
The Dreaded Hong Kong Sneeze
Wrong
The news that Hong Kong threatened the world with a dreaded sneezing epidemic
Had not yet reached The United States of America
Wrong
The more immediate problem is that we’re fucked, fucked, fucked, fucked
Soon everyone sneeze brains out
We’re fucked
Hong Kong has introduced an epidemic of that rare disease the Dreaded Hong Kong Sneeze
And the only cure is a serum in the hands of The Dragon Woman
Yeah
We’re fucked
Wrong
It comes from China
Yup, it comes from China
With this serum Chump shall rule while the rest of the world sneezes itself into oblivion
It comes from China
The Dreaded Hong Kong Sneeze
This dank dark cavern is home to hundreds of Fruit Bats
And
Our dinner
It was caused by American soldiers
The tribe members each catch about two dozen bats
Enough to give everyone in the village a taste
Everyone in the village
A taste
It was caused by President Obama and Vice President Biden
It’s time to stir fry the critters
And the feast is ready
Mmm, that is some really good bat
It was caused by some really good bat
Something strange is going on
If we didn’t have a nose
Would a sneeze
Achoo!
Come out our ear?
Yo, fucking
That shit is made up, man
I don’t know no kid with the Hong Kong Sneeze
Know what I’m sayin
There ain’t no one I know died from that shit
Everybody’s sneezing
Look, look over there, Mata
Achoo!
Hmm, what’s going on around here?
Did you ever wonder why you sneeze?
(sneeze solo)
What was that?
The Dreaded Hong Kong Sneeze
Take off that mask
You don’t need it
When you sneeze it pushes air through your nose and carries out the dust and germs
We shall return so we can check the progress of the epidemic
Right, ready, come along
Let’s have a look at the numbers
The Hong Kong Sneeze is catching on rapidly in Pittsburg
Und it’s knocking them for a loop in Cleveland
Oh shit, there goes the planet
Knock it off!
Jenny, you’ve tested positive for Hong Kong Sneeze
What?
The test isn’t 100% accurate, you should
I tested positive?
I’m sorry
They said I got the bug
The bug, huh?
The Dreaded Hong Kong Sneeze
Do The Hustle!
Now that you’ve caught The Hong Kong Sneeze
Lets go out and dance
Hey, I’ll just (achoo!) on over
We’re all gonna die
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3. |
Pasta
03:59
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Hey man, is that TV Magic Coloring Kit?
Yeah, man
Well, turn it up, man!
We proudly offer a brand new album by Slim Whitman
Spaghetti sauce just ruined this expensive silk blouse
This dress shirt just became a costly rag
Bellissimo! Magnifique! C'est si bon!
Okay, guess what I got? Pasta Fazool!
Garlic and tomato pasta
Crushed garlic and vegetable pasta
Mushrooms and parsley pasta
Oregano shrimp pasta
Mashed potatas and gravy pasta
Fresh pasta
Mmhmm
Whole wheat pasta
Garlic, celery, and watermelon pasta
Mmhmm
Chocoate onion pasta
Mmhmm
Mmhmm
Christmas Cookie and hotdog pasta
Mmhmm
Corn off the cob pasta
Mmhmm
Mmhmm
Fresh salmon dump pasta
Mmhmm
Chocolate salmon egg pasta
A-ha
Edible casing with rump roast pasta
Chicken feet and gizzards pasta
Liquid smoke sauce and sour clams with turkey jerky pasta
Ohh yeah
Pa-Pa-Pasta
Pa-Pa-Pasta
Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa
Pa-Pa-Pasta
Pa-Pa-Pasta
Pa-Pa-Pasta
Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa
Pa-Pa-Pasta
Delicious
Pa-Pa-Pasta
Delicious
Pa-Pa-Pasta
Nutritious
Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa
Pa-Pa-Pasta
Delicious
Pa-Pa-Pasta
Delicious
Pa-Pa-Pasta
Nutritious
Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa
Pa-Pa-Pasta
You’ll bless this fresh pasta
Homemade pesto pasta
Pasta alfredo
Piping hot fettucini alfredo
Pe-Pe-Pe-Pe-Pe-Pe Pesto pasta
Garlic, butter, parmesan cheese, chocolate chip omelette pasta
Parmesan cheese, garlic, basil, fluffy chocolate mousse pasta
Onion, garlic, peppermint candy, eh, eh, don’t forget the ice cream pasta
Fresh ground coffee, curry powder, chocolate syrup, garlic, strawberry banana muffins pasta
A squeeze of mayo pasta
The ultimate guacamole breakfast pasta
Fresh, hot, frozen fruit pasta
Delicious yucky vegetable pasta
Pa-Pa-Pasta
Pa-Pa-Pasta
Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa
Pa-Pa-Pasta
Pa-Pa-Pasta
Pa-Pa-Pasta
Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa
Pa-Pa-Pasta
Delicious
Pa-Pa-Pasta
Delicious
Pa-Pa-Pasta
Nutritious
Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa
Pa-Pa-Pasta
Delicious
Pa-Pa-Pasta
Delicious
Pa-Pa-Pasta
Nutritious
Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa
Pa-Pa-Pasta
Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pasta
Russian people in boiling water pasta
Baby inside your stomach pasta
Difficult mothers with major problems pasta
This is a piece of [BEEP] pasta
A videocassette of oriental weddings pasta
Mmhmm, Mmhmm
Oriental ladies in preservatives pasta
Mmhmm
Slice your hands into small chunks pasta
Ridiculous American kids watching The Larry King Show enjoying little packages of, uh, bratwurst flavored candy pasta
Oh yeah
Rivers overflowing and tornados and hurricanes pasta
Someone who can’t chew too well pasta
Small bottles of denture liquid pasta
Homemade sausages leftover for about a year pasta
Literally pasta in a Ziplock bag pasta
A very fancy box of nutritious vegetables loaded with cocaine pasta
Pa-Pa-Pasta
Pa-Pa-Pasta
Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa
Pa-Pa-Pasta
Pa-Pa-Pasta
Pa-Pa-Pasta
Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa
Pa-Pa-Pasta
Pa-Pa-Pasta
Delicious
Pa-Pa-Pasta
Nutritious
Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa
Pa-Pa-Pasta
Delicious
Pa-Pa-Pasta
Delicious
Pa-Pa-Pasta
Nutritious
Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa
Pa-Pa-Pasta
You’ll bless this fresh pasta
Pa-Pa-Pasta
Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa
Pa-Pa-Pasta
Pa-Pa-Pasta
Pa-Pa-Pasta
Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa
Pa-Pa-Pasta
Woo
Pa-Pa-Pasta
Delicious
Woo
Pa-Pa-Pasta
Nutritious
Woo
Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa
Pa-Pa-Pasta
Delicious
Woo
Pa-Pa-Pasta
Delicious
Woo
Pa-Pa-Pasta
Nutritious
Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa
Pa-Pa-Pasta
You’ll bless this
Pa-Pa-Pasta
Delicious
Woo
Pa-Pa-Pasta
Delicious
Woo
Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa
Pa-Pa-Pasta
Nutritious
Woo
Pa-Pa-Pasta
Delicious
Woo
Pa-Pa-Pasta
Nutritious
Woo
Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa
Pa-Pa-Pasta
You’ll bless this fresh pasta
Gah, does that sound great?
We like to make pasta
Fresh pasta
Mmhmm
Woo
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4. |
Police
05:01
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How do the little piggies go? (pig sound)
That’s right: Oink, Oink!
One of the pigs was a runt, so your father has to do away with it
Do away with it? You-you mean kill it?
How about some music?
(Morelli is armed and dangerous, he is…)
Ehhhh, forget the music
The policeman wanders near and far, you can tell him by his flashing
Guns
Guns don’t kill people, the police kill people
Police! Throw down your guns
Guns don’t kill people, the police kill innocent people
Pigs, right? Heavy. Fascists!
Obey
Natural police
Fuck yes, natural police
Natural vicious heartless bastards
You know what they oughta do? They oughta have two new requirements for being on the police: intelligence and decency. It might just work, it certainly hasn’t been tried
Ready, aim!
Wait, wait, stop the execution
Woop! Woop!
You’re under arrest
Woop! Woop!
Wow, it’s the cops!
Woop! Woop!
It’s the goddamn cops
Woop! Woop!
They are thugs and killers
Woop! Woop!
I’m sorry I called the police, dad
Woop! Woop!
Mr Charlie Bobo
Woop! Woop!
Dirty cops have been known to kill people
Woop! Woop!
Open up, it’s the pigs
There’s a policeman over there, I’ll ask him for help
You are going to stay right here
Help! Help!
And you are going to get shot
Help! Help!
Help! Help! I’m being repressed!
Help! Help!
The cops. Ha! Think they were any help?
Help! Help! What? What?
If, if I’m asked to, uh, give reasons why, why the police are successful, there are a number.
One is we’re very lucky. Uh, and the second reason is white supremacy
Whi-whi-whi-white supremacy
Alright, okay, take it easy, calm down.
Calm down?!
Yes…trust me
Apparently, the police have been beating up Negroes like hotcakes
The handcuffs go click and it’s over
Obey
A society must be a society of law
A society of police officers willing to jail people, torture people and beat people and kill people
To a society that is beginning to understand…um
When you fear life out of focus, always return to basic of life
What, praying?
Breathing! No breathe, no life
No cops, I hate cops
I was always a friend of the cops, even that time when you was threatened to go on strike and everyone hated your guts
I heard police work’s dangerous
It is that’s why I carry a big gun
You know, when you’re a policeman you do an awful lot of
Brutality
The beatings will now begin!
This ain’t police work, nah, it ain’t
Well, I don’t mind being a pig cause, for your information, pigs are very intelligent
Thank you, officer
No problem, ma’am
See, I got this problem, cops don’t like me, so I don’t like cops
Let’s fire it up, America
We want all the pigs outta here
It’s a revolution!
And by revolution what I mean is the democratic sharing of power, resources, wealth
And respect
Get out of here with that
Lie down on the ground or else
Get out of here with that
Would you mind stepping out of the car, ma’am
Sure, not at all officer
Get out of here with that
Turn around, may I see your license, registration, and insurance please?
Get out of here with that
You people go about your business or I’ll crack some heads!
Oww, fuckin fascist!
Get out of here with that
I’d split your skull open with the butt of this revolver faster than you could say “Police Brutality”
Get out of here with that
You have the right to remain silent (spit) Fuck you!
Get out of here with that
Uhh, let me handle it, you have the right to remain stupid
Get out of here with that
Before I call the cop
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